It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
