Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This baby is an asshole
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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