Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You really coming over, don't trick.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
