Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
