dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
