Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
