honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
