the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
