You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
