omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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