I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize