And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
