I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
