Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my mouth tastes like poor choices
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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