So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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