By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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