well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it was like eating out sand paper
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
