come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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