I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
