Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
