i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
