my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
