I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
