Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
