If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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