nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
