i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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