I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
