I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
