chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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