kristin has been a bad kristin
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
