so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
