I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I smell like Dick and happiness
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
