your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
