Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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