I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
