its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
