fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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