Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he was CRYING into my vagina
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
