you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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