Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize