Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
