Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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