let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
