Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
