Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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