I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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