She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
