Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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