walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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