Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
