It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize