Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
