We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
