I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
